THE Wagner Group of mercenaries, withdrawn from Ukraine after a brief mutiny, has arrived at a North Yorkshire caravan park for a fortnight’s break.
The private army has commandeered all pitches with electric hook-ups for their tanks, are occupying the top four fields at Stoat’s Hollow Caravans and are keeping themselves to themselves.
Yevgeny Prigozhin said: “We’re off the frontlines of Ukraine after a tough year and we needed a break, you know? And the Yorkshire coast is lovely if you get the sun.
“What’s a tank but a campervan with armour anyway? The lads are enjoying stretching out and having a bit of a paddle, and I’m doing a barbecue later. Once a chef always a chef, you know?
“Yes, a few of them took Scarborough in a pincer movement out of habit, but they apologised and hardly anyone died. And tell me how you’re supposed to get rid of wasps without shooting them? Exactly.
“A fortnight off and we’ll be refreshed and ready to return to the fray. Why aren’t we at a Camping and Caravanning Club site? Hey, we’re amoral mercenaries, not fascists.”
He added: “Tomorrow? I’m thinking Flamingo Land.”
