WITH Russia launching a full-scale invasion of Ukraine, a selfish idiot has paused to think of the fuel prices.
Instead of offering his condolences to the innocent people of Ukraine as Russian troops roll across the border, self-centred dickhead Wayne Hayes has taken a moment to express his sympathies for the cost of petrol.
Looking wistfully out of the window, he said: “God, it’s so tragic. What did those fuel prices ever do to Russia? Putin’s really misjudged this one.
“Failing to recognise the existence of Ukraine is one thing, but if the cost of doing the school run gets any higher then Russia deserves the harshest condemnation from the West. If that means nukes, then so be it.
“I’ll probably pop down to the nearest petrol station later and lay some flowers out of respect. I need to fill up the tank anyway and they sell bouquets by the front door so it’s hardly an imposition. Plus I can grab a Twix at the same time.
“Then I’ll chuck a filter of Ukraine’s flag over my social media profile pictures, fire off a vague but concerned status, and instantly forget about the whole thing. It’s how we do things in this country.”
