NATIONS other than Britain cannot so much as convey a simple postcard to its destination without taking months, it has emerged.
First-hand research by UK holidaymakers has found that, regardless of country, an A5 rectangle with the correct postage attached baffles foreign post offices for up to 12 weeks.
Eleanor Shaw of Stevenage said: “From Spain to Sri Lanka, no matter how many postboxes they seem to have, pop a postcard in and watch them panic.
“Instead of doing their jobs and dispatching the postcard promptly to its destination, the lazy, feckless, probably unionised locals take one look at it and call an immediate siesta and even when they get back up they’re straight on the ouzo.
“What’s so hard about it? The address is right there with UK written in capitals. Yet I’m regularly back from my holidays for two months before the first amusing picture of a large-cocked donkey manages to limp home.”
Emma Bradford of Stroud agreed: “It’s a shame these third-rate backwaters that we deign to visit for our fortnight’s all-inclusive aren’t able to meet the exacting postal standards of Brits.
“I don’t even bother with postcards now. As much as I’d like to tell everyone about the weather, how cheap drinks are and that Darren burnt himself and got the shits on day one, by the time it arrives my smug superiority’s worn off and I’ve been back at work a month.
“Instead I simply post six to eight hundred Instagram photos accompanied by captions like ‘30ºC!’ and ‘I’ve had worse Monday mornings!’ which people enjoy just as much.
“No, I’ve never sent a postcard to a foreign country from Britain. But if I did I’m sure it’d be there next day.”
