PRESIDENT Biden decided to quit the presidential race after speaking to Lincoln, Kennedy and Washington in the twilight lands of the dead, it has emerged.
Biden, who is a familiar figure in those regions where living and deceased may meet as equals because he often takes strolls there, summoned a conclave of former US leaders for advice.
He said: “Yes, the land of Dead Presidents that Jay-Z spoke of is real. I visit there more and more frequently, often while giving speeches.
“When my leadership out here in the world of breath and colour was challenged, I knew I must consult with those on the other side of the veil. Plus I can finish a sentence over there, in fact they tell me I speak too quickly.
“Lincoln told me I had outlived my time. Jefferson advised me to depart with dignity. James Madison suggested war with Britain, he’s not really kept up with modern politics, we tend to ignore him.
“Anyway, moved by the counsel of my forebears very much in the style of the film Black Panther, I quit the presidential race.
“You’ll notice I didn’t give a reason. That is because I forgot.”
