Being a bit chunky is all we've got left, says Britain 


Women only multi-task because no other bugger does anything

WOMEN are forced to do at least six things at a time because no one else actually does anything, it has been confirmed.

Research has revealed the ability to do multiple tasks at once is a skill acquired from years and years of having no choice.

Emma Howard, from Leeds, said: “There’s this convenient myth that women are genetically designed to be great at multi-tasking so therefore they should do all the stuff. This is bullshit.

“The only way I have time to work, take care of the kids, cook, clean, keep fit and wash all the bloody laundry is to do a fuckload of jobs at the same time.

“Even when I have sex, I’m planning what to make for the kid’s tea while doing my tax return.

“It’s not like I want to feed a baby while having a piss, checking my emails and hoovering. I just don’t have a choice.

“I am fucking knackered.”