A MAN who cannot summon the basic effort to mix and fry batter has ordered six pancakes via Deliveroo, it has emerged.
Pampered urbanite Tom Booker, who works from home in a job where he clicks on a mouse, was so overwhelmed by the thought of sieving flour, cracking eggs and whisking them all together he turned to his phone instead.
He said: “Wouldn’t want to miss pancake day, but it’s a lot of effort isn’t it? You’re stood at the hob for minutes at a time.
“But I’ve not got enough butter, the maple syrup in the cupboard’s pretty old and then there’s the whole ballache of frying and the athletic ordeal of flipping the bastard things. My girlfriend used to do it before she left me.
“No, it’s easier to honour Jesus doing his whole wilderness mushroom trip bit by jabbing my phone a few times and getting a cyclist on minimum wage to pop a stack in. They’ll be grateful for the work and I’m stimulating the economy.
“And after this I won’t order pancakes from Deliveroo for 40 days, to honour Lent. Or from Just Eat. Or Uber Eats.”
Deliveroo rider Jordan Gardner said: “They’ll be cold and flavourless by the time they reach you like everything I deliver. Bon appetit.”
