HEAVEN knows why, but a racist has donated £10 million to the Conservatives. Should the party return this tainted cash? 

Thomas Booker, security guard: “If you can’t take money off bigots that’s the business model of Indian restaurants f**ked. And Chinese takeaways.”

Susan Traherne, international hockey referee: “Once they give it back that racist money enters circulation. I’ll end up with a prejudiced tenner in my wallet, whispering slurs to my credit card.”

Josh Gardner, delivery rider: “There’s no way he expected the Tories to do anything racist for that £10 million. That just isn’t how politics works.”

Helen Archer, doctor: “How about if the party donates the lot to anti-racist charities? And the cameras give us a good, tight close-up of their facial expressions while they do it?”

Nikki Hollis, nail artist: “So he says something racist and is rewarded with ten million?”