THE prospect of a second Trump presidency poses lots of terrifying questions. Here are your worst fears analysed and confirmed.

Will he be president forever now?

In theory: no. The 22nd Amendment means that a person can only be elected twice, regardless of whether those terms are in a row or not. In reality: Trump is deranged enough to pop the Constitution into a shredder and replace it with a sheet of paper that has ‘Trump 4eva’ scrawled on it in Sharpie. Only his natural life span prevents him from ruling for eternity, but Musk will probably find a way around that too.

Is that the climate f**ked then?

The environment wasn’t in rude health to begin with, and Trump’s promise to increase the production of US fossil fuels won’t exactly help. Ditching green energy and drilling for oil in the Arctic wilderness will hasten the climate’s decline, but maybe that’s a good thing? The sooner the planet becomes too hostile for human life, the sooner our successors can evolve. Hopefully the cockroach humanoids will learn from our mistakes.

Will America become a fascist state?

It’s dangerous to throw around the f-word as it weakens its meaning. Just because Trump holds rallies in front of dozens of dazzling flags topped with golden eagles, resorts to violent coups when he doesn’t get his way, and silences journalists who dare to disagree with him doesn’t mean America will become a fascist dictatorship. But all the planned deportations and abortion bans might do.

Does this mean Ukraine is toast?

Not necessarily. Trump has pledged to end the conflict with a tough deal that will get results in 24 hours. Of course nobody knows the ins and outs of this deal – including Trump himself, probably – so it remains to be seen how Ukraine would benefit. Either way, the country could definitely continue to survive as an idea or in history books.

Will nobody rescue Melania?

There may have been a time in the last four years when the Secret Service could have swooped into Trump’s Florida resort and saved her, but that window of opportunity has passed. Now the world has to look on helplessly as she scowls next to him on the world’s stage, sending coded messages about her captor through rhythmic blinks. She will never be free.