KEEP seeing people using ‘hilarious’ nicknames for politicians that are actually just painfully lame? Here is a selection of the worst.
Tony B. Liar
An early entry for tedious-as-f**k political nicknames was Tony B. Liar, which came about due to Blair lying to the public about Saddam Hussein having weapons of mass destruction. This happened in 2003, over two decades ago, and yet dickheads still wheel it out constantly as if it’s an immensely pithy joke rather than a tiresome play on words. See also: Nu LieBore.
Bad Enoch
Haha, the new Conservative leader’s name can be broken down into a reference to a barmy far-right politician famous for making nasty speeches about race wars. It might have raised a small wry smile the first time it was used, but now it’s been bandied about Twitter so much it’s as funny as the Dead Parrot sketch, which is to say, not at all.
Priti Vacant
Is a reference to a mediocre song by a 70s punk band incisive and clever these days? Or is it a desperate attempt to shoehorn Priti Patel’s name into a sobriquet any old how? Definitely the latter, because, however much you hate her, you can’t really accuse Patel of being ‘vacant’. She’s too laser-focused on victimising minorities for that.
Kamikwasi
While we know Kwasi Kwarteng was the architect of the budget that f**ked everyone’s mortgages, this is confusing to read, awkward to say, and never caught on. Maybe it’s because he wasn’t as obviously insane as his boss Liz Truss, so this one felt a bit superfluous. Truss herself got called ‘The Human Hand Grenade’, which could be the name of an old, hastily-conceived Marvel character and is actually kind of cool.
Sir Beer Korma
Conservatives are weirdly keen on nicknames for Starmer, such as ‘Captain Hindsight’.and ‘Sir Softie’, both used by Rishi Sunak. Lefties meanwhile opted for ‘Sir Kid Starver’ and ‘Keith’. There’s also ‘Two-Tier Keir’, beloved by those who don’t think racist thugs who try to burn down hotels full of asylum seekers should be put in prison. The worst, though, is ‘Sir Beer Korma’. Not only was it a complete non-story that Starmer had a curry during Covid, it’s so laboured it barely resembles his name anymore.
tRump
Only works written down and, let’s face it, is lame. Even Trump would think it’s lame, and he loves a crap nickname, as he proved by using ones like ‘Sleepy Joe’ and ‘Killary’. What is it suggesting? That he’s a choice bit of beef? That he’s got a big bum? His actual name is funnier, as it means ‘fart’. Well, it is if you’re seven years old, which is a higher mental age than those tittering as they type out ‘tRump’.
