AS Prince Harry’s privacy, the victim of intrusion by both sides, I am disgusted to have been exchanged for mere millions. And I blame him.
Let me explain. He was always a private boy. We’d spend hours together being private, hiding away from his family, the servants, Special Branch and nanny. But when he came of age, he introduced me to Britain’s media. ‘This is my privacy,’ he said, ‘and I hope you’ll always respect it.’ ‘We definitely will,’ they promised.
But then what happened? He only went and started doing things. Getting drunk, meeting girls, impersonating Rommel at parties. The media would say to me ‘Is it okay if we report this?’ ‘Yes alright,’ I would say, wishing the Prince hadn’t put me in this position by behaving like a bit of a tosser with infinite money.
Then he went and got girlfriends. Sharing our intimate moments with another person was the ultimate betrayal. So when he got a mobile phone I agreed the press deserved access to his voicemail.
Perhaps I was wrong, but the way I saw it, if he was prepared to speak words aloud, he was happy to have them reported. The press were totally on my side on this, which was a great comfort to me.
Then he married live on TV, broadcast around the world. Could he have given a clearer signal that me and him were through? I checked with his brother’s privacy, and it agreed it was basically a free-for-all now. It even agreed to help by making stories up.
As you can imagine, this court case has torn me apart. He plays the innocent, but if anything it’s his fault the media and I enjoy a friendship so close even Rebecca Vardy is jealous.
Well, I hope you’re happy with your multiple millions and so-called moral victory, Harry. I’ll be over here with my real friends, the newspapers. And believe us, we’ve got plans.
