TODAY’S music stars do a plethora of questionable things, but we indulge them because they’re pretty. Here are some of the worst, and fittest, offenders:
Harry Styles and his acting
Like many other musicians before him, Styles has made the leap from hot person singing to hot person saying words in a film. The fact that he’s a poor actor, and even worse in promotional interviews, is a moot point. He’s gorgeous, so we’ll put up with his hammy attempts just to be able to look at his lovely face on the big screen.
Dua Lipa and her international faux pas
From openly globetrotting during international lockdowns to accidentally endorsing extreme Albanian nationalism, there have been many occasions where Dua, to use her own lyrics, ‘should have stayed at home’. But if she did we wouldn’t get as many stunningly presented music videos and beautiful selfies, so it has to be allowed.
Shakira and her tax fraud
Unlike those famously truthful hips, Shakira is alleged to have told some porkies on her tax returns to the tune of £12.9 million. Prosecutors are seeking an eight-year prison sentence, but it’s not really fair to the rest of the world if her beauty is hidden away behind bars, is it? She should be let off for the good of humanity.
Rihanna and her lack of new music
Rihanna has only broken her lengthy new music drought with a lone single, so we should be asking ourselves whether she’s even relevant anymore. However, given her absolute hotness we would endure another 60 years with nothing but ads for her Fenty make up and still pretend she was a cutting-edge pop star.
Alex Turner and his own wankery
Unlike Rihanna, Arctic Monkeys have supplied us with plenty of music in the form of albums that have only become more and more niche and navel-gazing. Are we expected to lap it all up just because the frontman has the appearance of the perfect poet boyfriend we never had? Yes, we are. And we will.
