IT only takes one appalling song to undermine a musical legacy. Here are the tunes that ruined everything for the talented idiots who wrote them.
Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon
Kings of Leon’s exciting Southern rock was derailed by this asinine slice of MOR tedium. It’s based on a phrase so unlikely to be used in real life it may as well be dialogue from a Richard Curtis romcom. Having alienated their youthful audience in favour of pissed-up hen dos, let’s hope the band can live with exchanging their musical credibility for millions and millions and millions of dollars.
We All Stand Together by Paul McCartney
McCartney had actually written a shedload of fantastic songs since the Beatles fell apart. Sadly, not many people know this because of The Frog Chorus, a tune which has come to define Macca as a twee, childish, annoying little prick. It would take a spectacularly awful song to eclipse Live and Let Die or Tug of War and yet here we are: a song so nauseating it’s less an earworm and more a tapeworm.
Girls and Boys by Blur
Were Blur trying to write the most irritating song of all time? More than capable of delivering melodic and witty pop-rock gems, Blur will now forever be associated with this cacophony of high-pitched squealing, mockney falsetto and jarring pick scrapes. Meanwhile, any satirical intent was lost on the 18-30 morons gleefully singing it on their way to Magaluf. A real shame.
Alright by Supergrass
Terrifyingly young and talented, Supergrass emerged from secondary school fully formed and went on to release six great albums. Sad then, that most people remember them for this vacuous piece of belly-button fluff. The accompanying video, in which the ‘lads’ cavort around a village like a bunch of twats, prompted Steven Spielberg to offer them a Monkees-style TV show. Common sense prevailed, but the unfortunate legacy remains.
Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush
Her debut single firmly established Kate’s reputation as a shrieking eccentric. Apparently, there are backing vocals only dogs can hear. Her impressive songwriting skills continued to be overshadowed by her distressing interest in performance art, although she later acknowledged the limitations of her performance on Wuthering Heights and re-recorded the vocals for her 1986 greatest hits. Unfortunately, that version was a bit screechy too.
Just the Way You Are by Billy Joel
Joel could have been remembered for Piano Man, Uptown Girl, or any other number of Adjective Person songs. But there’s only one lyric his obituaries will be quoting: ‘I don’t want clever conversation… I want you just the way you are.’ Wow. Try writing that little token of affection in your partner’s birthday card and see what happens next.
