EVERYTHING that’s wrong nowadays is blamed on wokeness, so maybe it’s time to start re-evaluating historical issues too. Like these:
The Great Fire of London
Building houses out of wood and baking bread at home is exactly the sort of thing middle-class eco-warriors like to do, so there must have been loads of them around in the 17th century. Plus, namby-pamby snowflakes like Samuel Pepys were too busy journalling about their feelings to attempt putting it out.
The destruction of the Library of Alexandria
Historians say this was down to Julius Caesar accidentally torching it during his war against General Pompey, but it’s far more likely that it was a false flag attack by cultural Marxists intent on removing books they didn’t like from circulation. Probably ones they thought were racist and sexist, like The Famous Five.
The Black Death
Those sheeple peasants were too busy being woke to rise up and condemn the plague for what it really was: a plandemic arranged by the New World Order, which existed even back then. How could 200 million people worldwide perish without anyone being suspicious? It wasn’t down to a deadly bacterium, it was instigated by the villainous abacus inventor Sir William Gates.
The Titanic
Did you know the captain of the Titanic didn’t steer the ship out of the way because he was afraid of offending the iceberg? And that they only provided lifeboats to the rich passengers because otherwise the woke mob would have said they were racists for assuming working-class Irish people couldn’t swim? That’s the truth, but you won’t see it in the liberal Hollywood elite whitewash film.
The eruption of Mount Vesuvius
Historians argue that the citizens of Pompeii were caught out because they didn’t know that Vesuvius was an active volcano. What actually happened is that a woman who mentioned that the summit was looking a bit smoky today was accused of performing a micro-aggression against the volcano and nobody dared comment further until lava was lapping at their front door.
The extinction of the dinosaurs
Extinction truthers know that the dinosaurs were too busy explaining their pronouns to each other to notice the six-mile-wide asteroid plummeting towards them. Apart from one, a triceratops who saw it coming and tried to raise the alarm, but got immediately shouted down for daring to talk over a self-identified female pterodactyl.
