KYLIE, Fleetwood Mac and Kate Bush have all found new, young audiences via TikTok. But which ‘legacy artists’ will never be considered cool enough to follow suit?
Genesis
Despite being one of the biggest-selling bands of all time, Genesis are never going to be embraced by Gen Z. Phil Collins has the look and demeanour of a friend’s dad who has come upstairs to tell you off for vaping indoors, and there’s no way I Can’t Dance is going to end up on the Stranger Things soundtrack. Because it’s shit.
East 17
If you’re over a certain age, East 17 are still lodged in your consciousness due to Stay Another Day, but the younger generation doesn’t give a shit about old people’s Christmas songs, and East 17 were so bad that you can’t even like them ironically. However, Brian Harvey’s escapade involving running himself over after eating too many baked potatoes could definitely start one of those dangerous TikTok crazes the youth are so fond of.
Jethro Tull
TikTok users love a weird genre mash-up, but even they couldn’t cope with the prog-folk-jazz-blues-classical fusion of Jethro Tull. Everyone loses their mind when Lizzo gets her flute out, but what they don’t know is that Ian Anderson was doing it years before, albeit while dressed as a sort of futuristic space pirate standing on one leg.
Right Said Fred
The Fairbrass brothers may have briefly registered with people under the age of 25 when Taylor Swift credited them for using the rhythm from I’m Too Sexy in her song Look What You Made Me Do. However, these days they’re best known for spreading Covid conspiracy theories on Twitter, and have zero relevance to youth culture. Or maybe the World Health Organisation secretly controls the charts, which is why their last single only reached number 54 in Germany.
Black Lace
The average TikTok user was mercifully not born when Black Lace were assaulting our ears at school discos in the late 70s and early 80s. Given the complexity of the choreography that goes into viral TikTok dances now, Gen Z would view the embarrassingly basic moves to Superman with the sort of anthropological condescension usually reserved for early attempts at cave painting. Plus the fact that the screeching Spitting Image pisstake of their biggest hit was actually a better piece of music than the original.
