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Evil haunted bike for sale on eBay

ANDREW Mitchell’s evil, possessed bike is for sale on eBay.

The distinctive black bicycle is haunted by the spirit of its former owner Lord Finchbrook, a sadistic aristocrat who peddled around his estate deliberately running over workers.

Parnormal expert Tom Booker said: “The bike exerts a malign influence over all who possess it, and must be fed with blood of people earning less than 30K.

“Its other scary features are a bell that rings itself at midnight and back-pedal brakes.”