AFTER his third best actor Oscar, Daniel Day-Lewis is to stop trying.
The star said his record-breaking win meant he no ‘longer gave a tuppenny shit’ and was looking forward to playing ‘someone like King Arthur, but with a really bad accent’.
He added: “Arthur was born in Cornwall, so I suppose I could try a kind of Wurzels thing. ‘Oo-arrh, that be excalibur, me trusty sword what I found in a lake’.
“I really don’t care.”
ANDREW Mitchell’s evil, possessed bike is for sale on eBay.
The distinctive black bicycle is haunted by the spirit of its former owner Lord Finchbrook, a sadistic aristocrat who peddled around his estate deliberately running over workers.
Parnormal expert Tom Booker said: “The bike exerts a malign influence over all who possess it, and must be fed with blood of people earning less than 30K.
“Its other scary features are a bell that rings itself at midnight and back-pedal brakes.”
