DECIDED not to drink for a month? Here are the best reasons to do so, from being insufferably pleased with yourself right down to trivial benefits like living longer.
Smug superiority
The reason most people choose to do Dry January is to prove how much better they are than those who can’t get through the misery of deepest winter without booze. The worst are the ones who get so high from the constant feeling of smugness they carry on into February while never shutting up about it. With just a bit of commitment you can be like those twats. Go for it.
Not making a tit of yourself
If you got so pissed over Christmas you embarrassed yourself in front of your boss, your mum, your partner or strangers on the street, Dry January will look like an attractive idea. But all that will happen is that by the time you start drinking again in February your tolerance will be so low that a single pint of Stella will have you mooning a passing police car the second you leave the pub.
Being less of a fat bastard
Having ploughed into the pigs-in-blankets and Celebrations over Christmas, you’ve tried to put your work trousers back on this week and found them worryingly tight. The easiest way to counter this overindulgence is by swearing off the booze. At least until around January 10th, when you crack and open a bottle of wine, then have to feel guilty on top of feeling chubby.
Checking to see if you’re a borderline alcoholic
Getting concerned you like a drink a bit too much? Dry January is a great way to test whether you can easily go for four weeks without booze, or if you spend every evening fantasising about cracking open a cold cider. If you find yourself secretly necking one in the airing cupboard, then you should probably look at stopping forever.
Saving some cash
As your post-Christmas bank balance will clearly show, alcohol is very expensive, and even the own-brand stuff from the supermarket you drink is increasingly pricey. If you put all the money you’d have spent on booze in a jar you could buy yourself something really fancy at the end of the month, like a 1kg tub of Lurpak.
Enjoying the health benefits
Despite what medical professionals say, this is the least important reason to do Dry January. Yeah, you might feel a bit better physically, but that will never top the intense feelings of self-satisfaction that are the top reason for doing it. If you’re not doing it to feel holier-than-thou, you might as well not bother.
