Have you been left alone with your thoughts when you would normally be playing Flappy Bird? Here’s what you should think about to fill those long, lonely minutes.
What happened to all those ‘toilet books’ that everyone had?
Every toilet in the land used to have a cistern full of smug little books about how to be calm or why being a grammar Nazi is great. Where have they all gone?
Would drinking a bottle of Domestos be fatal?
Before phones and toilet books, the only bathroom entertainment was deciphering the difficult chemical names on the back of cleaning products. Clue: probably, so don’t try it.
Is there a murderer behind the shower curtain?
It’s unlikely, but pursuing this line of thought could turn your bathroom visit into a thrilling and frightening experience similar to an immersive screening of Psycho, rather than a humdrum bodily function.
What is the meaning of life?
A hard hitting question with much to explore, but luckily you’ve only got as long as it takes to do a shit so you probably won’t fall into endless existential despair before it’s over, unless you’re constipated.
Should I paint over that disturbing patch of mould?
Yes.
