FRENCH sperm comes in smaller portions than British sperm but tastes much better, according to a new study.

Researchers found that French seminal fluid was preferred by 70% of diners in a taste-test, compared to just 4% for the UK sample.

Marcel Dufarge, head chef at the Michelin-starred Le Canard Bleu in Bordeaux, said: “Our British customers have always enjoyed eating our sperm.

“We may even stop telling them that it’s ‘gooseberry jus’.”