I've been inspired by the Pope to tell my boss to get f*cked

Paxman dispensing vigilante cleverness

JEREMY Paxman has a vigilante alter ego called ‘Clever Man’.

The University Challenge host attacked a group of teenagers after leaping from a fire escape wearing a leotard, and bombarded them with general knowledge questions.

17-year-old Tom Booker said: “He appeared out of nowhere and demanded to know the chemical formula for potassium nitrate.

“I said it was KNO2 and he went mental, screaming ‘Everyone knows it’s KNO3!’

“In a flash, his massive spade-like hand encircled my neck. My friends were trying to intervene but with his spare hand he was wielding a fountain pen like a tiny sword.

“He kicked the shit out of us, then left a selection of academic textbooks on our semi-conscious bodies, like a calling card.”

Police believe the obsessively intellectual Paxman/Clever Man is also behind a threat to destroy the set of The Only Way Is Essex.

Inspector Emma Bradford said: “He’s threatened to kill the entire cast unless the government builds ten libraries by midnight.

“Then he told me his superhero motto, but it was in Latin so I didn’t understand.”