FOLLOWING the shocking exposure of Jermaine Jenas as neither bland nor sexless enough for The One Show, who will take football’s top presenting job?
Tom Logan, archeologist: “God, if only there were an ex-footballer at a loose end interested in a highly paid job. Who’s able to read and talk.”
Helen Archer, dog groomer: “Why not Gabby Logan? Or if she’s not available, any other woman.”
Will McKay, crane operator: “Jude Bellingham. He needs to accept this is bigger than Real Madrid.”
Hannah Tomlinson, midwife: “My choice would be Eric Cantona, David Ginola and Arsene Wenger, all smoking heavily and discussing the games with reference to deconstructionism and the work of Derrida. Now that’s a pissed Saturday night watch.”
Wayne Hayes, butcher: “Just putting it out there, me and the lads will riot if it’s not Tommy Robinson.”
