TELLING clubs they are managed by Alan Pardew has the same effect as if he actually manages them, it has emerged.
Crystal Palace’s rise up the Premier League table has been attributed to the purported Pardew effect – an odd phenomenon that seems to occur in underachieving sides halfway through the season but which has no empirical proof.
The first ever scientific tests have thrown up unexpected results, suggesting that the Pardew effect may in fact be a trick of the mind.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “The mind wants to believe that Pardew is curing the problems, but nobody has actually satisfactorily explained how Pardew works.
“Amazingly Newcastle players are still exhibiting classic symptoms of the Pardew effect long after he has left. They also have a worrying case of John Carver syndrome, but that should work itself out in the summer.”
However, Crystal Palace players remain convinced that Pardew is working wonders at Selhurst Park.
Captain Mile Jedinak said: “The gaffer has given us a massive boost. We were the control group, weren’t we?”