Leicester players still believe in existence of manager

PLAYERS for Leicester City remain convinced that manager Nigel Pearson exists, despite mounting evidence.

A detail of Michelangelo’s frieze Pearson Agonistes

The reality of Pearson has been in doubt ever since his appointment in 2011, with claims he played for Shrewsbury Town, Sheffield Wednesday and Middlesbrough unprovable because nobody can watch those teams.

But the squad say their faith in Pearson remains unshaken, with club captain Wes Morgan describing him as “a presence not seen but rather heard, shouting from the touchline of the soul.”

He continued: “Unbound by mere reality, Nigel lives in the hearts of each and every one of us.

“We are unshaken by shouts of ‘Where’s the evidence?’ or ‘Are you sure you don’t mean Stuart Pearce?’ from the sidelines.

“We’ll stick to hitting the big man, working the channels, and refusing to score, because as Nigel teaches, goals are an abomination.”

Pundit Ian Wright said: “Believers attribute extraordinary events to Pearson, such as getting promoted or winning 5-3 against Manchester United, but those can be explained by the effects of random chance or Asian betting syndicates.

“Some claim to have seen him on Match of the Day, but who is still awake for the last game?”