THE England team have casually mentioned that tonight’s match not only decides progression to the next round but also Wales’s national tongue.
England have decided to raise the stakes in the much-anticipated group game between the two UK sides to give Wales a bit of extra motivation to pull out the stops and go for it.
England captain Harry Kane said: “One of the lads came up with the idea and we thought, why not? Give it a bit of extra oomph.
“We ran it past the government and they explained they ‘couldn’t give a f**k about Wales’ so I called up Gareth Bale and told them they’re not just playing for qualification but for the future of the Welsh language and by extension the nation.
“He was so angry he was spluttering down the phone, though come to think of it that may have been Welsh, but we’re hoping it’ll put a rocket up them and make a game of it.
“They’ll have to beat us by four clear goals so the odds are very much against it, but what a moment for the nation if they win, eh? It’d make previous achievements like Tom Jones taking It’s Not Unusual to number one look like nothing.
“Will we have to speak Welsh if they do? Don’t be ridiculous. But we’ll magnanimously allow them to carry on speaking it if we’re not around.”
