SENIOR Tories have called for Rishi Sunak to be ousted before the election, when he is going anyway. But who should replace him?
Roy Hobbs, retired: “Farage Johnson. Nigel and Boris, placed in the Large Hadron Collider, accelerated up to particle speeds, combined as one golden, immortal, infallibly right-wing demigod. Don’t tell me it can’t be done until they’ve tried.”
Susan Traherne, pharmaceutical sales: “Got to be Lord Cameron, the political giant who won one-and-two-thirds elections and two out of three referendums. Thank God he’s back.”
Steve Malley, HGV driver: “It’s Kemi Badenoch for me. I’m team Kemi. She’s got the right idea. What? No, I’ve no idea what her policies are or any of that shit. But you can just look at her and know that she hates them.”
Carolyn Ryan, wedding planner: “A new Rishi Sunak. Pop out a fresh one from the cloning banks, wash off the fluids, boot him up and watch him go.”
Grace Wood-Morris, dental nurse: “It’s Keir Stamer next, isn’t it? Is this a trick question?”
