RUSSIA is suspected to be behind yesterday’s closure of Heathrow which irritated tens of thousands. Would further inconvenience force us to surrender?
Jim Bates, ostler: “If Putin were to, say, force me to queue to collect a parcel on a Saturday morning then tell me I’ve got the wrong ID? I reckon five times and I’d crack.”
Fran Ryan, dowser: “So that’s his plan? So Southern Rail, those pay by phone car parks, Virgin TV’s cancellation team, Yodel, and time-wasting twats on Gumtree are all in the pay of the Kremlin?”
Lucy Parry, anchorite: “It’s really vexed Putin, though, his invasion of Ukraine stalling 20 per cent in for three years at massive cost to Russian lives and wealth. I bet he’s like ‘Gah!’”
Joe Turner, SEO analyst: “We shall fight them on the buffering. We shall fight them on the all-day delivery slots. We shall fight them on the temporary traffic lights on rural roads. We shall never surrender.”
Wayne Hayes, landscape gardener: “Joke’s on you, Russia. I’m not flying to Portugal until May.”
