A MAN enduring a bad date is annoyed because he put zero effort into preparing himself for it.

Unlike his date, who specially purchased a nice dress and waxed hair from her legs and armpits, Ryan Whittaker did not shower or change out of his work clothes and is angrily wondering why he bothered.

He said: “The conversation isn’t going anywhere, we haven’t got anything in common and I’m not physically attracted to her. Good thing I didn’t go to the trouble of brushing my teeth or clipping my talon-like toenails in case it went well.

“Within five minutes I was wishing I’d made even less effort by standing her up. I could be brainlessly scrolling through Twitter while sitting on the toilet right now rather than listening to her single-handedly carry the evening.

“I’m going to make a clearly bullshit excuse then simply walk away. That should give her the impression I’m not interested in a second date, or indeed this first one.”

Date Nikki Hollis said: “I love a man who’s confident and aloof like Ryan. He’s so much hotter than all those losers who try to impress me with witty anecdotes and basic hygiene standards.”