TUCK-LOVING Communities Secretary Eric Pickles has been severely reprimanded after unveiling yet another grub-based ‘cohesion strategy’.
The Big Lunch, an event in which everyone basically brings Eric Pickles sandwiches and cake, follows his recent announcement of a special school for makers of delicious curries, where he will be ‘taster of honour’.
The word ‘PICKLES!’ reverberated around the corridors of parliament yesterday as David Cameron angrily summoned the minister, whose less-cunning-than-he-thinks schemes often have unexpected comedy consequences.
Coalition advisor Nikki Hollis said: “When David Cameron saw the brief for The Big Lunch, which was pitched as ‘everyone comes to Eric’s garden with lots of scrummy cakes and pies’, steam practically came out of his ears.
“Eric had even absent-mindedly scribbled the word ‘yum’ in biro on the bottom of the document, probably without realising.”
In his nebulous role as Communities Secretary, Eric has yet to come up with anything that doesn’t in some way involve pastry, gravy or treacle.
Hollis said: “This is just the latest in a long line of food-based concepts from Eric, such as ‘Custard in the Community’, ‘Give Your Communities Secretary A Biscuit’ and a plan for a giant pie that symbolises diversity by incorporating every type of meat.”
