BRITAIN is on the verge of a general election and still fails to understand key issues. Are you one of Britain’s thick-as-pigshit voters? Find out:
Who is the chancellor of the exchequer?
A) Jeremy Hunt.
B) Money Saving Expert’s Martin Lewis.
If Anna gives Becky three apples, and Charles gives Becky four apples but she gives one back to Anna, how many apples does Becky have?
A) Six apples.
B) Why’s Charles giving Becky apples? I’m sick of this handout culture where lazy bastards expect everything for free. Becky is everything that’s wrong with Britain.
Name three of William Shakespeare’s plays.
A) Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
B) I don’t like made-up stuff. I can’t believe in it. I only watch true crime.
What is the EU?
A) An international trade organisation based in Europe.
B) A dictatorship completely dependent on our money which controlled every aspect of our lives until our glorious Brexit and which has all but collapsed without us. Still afraid of it though.
What percentage of the British population is white?
A) 86 per cent.
B) Less than 30 per cent and getting lower. Because they breed faster. You know who I mean. We’re the minority now.
Which famous event began in 1939?
A) World War Two.
B) Coronation Street.
ANSWERS
Mostly As: You are reasonably well-informed. Expect your vote to be instantly cancelled out by some idiot who thinks cats miaowing is an actual language.
Mostly Bs: For the good of democracy, don’t vote. Or do some bloody research, but you won’t do that because Google is so hard to use, except when you want a pizza or a wank.
