Entire elite establishment rallies round to help anti-establishment hero

THE full force of the elite British establishment has come together to support a man who was always its bitterest enemy.

The Tory government has come to the aid of Nigel Farage who it once fought elections against, in a stirring example of how differences can be put aside and the little guy can win sometimes.

Home secretary Suella Braverman said: “The victim of these corrupt banks is a man so unlike we Conservatives that we spent years locked in bitter opposition.

“He is a gadfly, a xenophobe, a man dedicated to toppling the elites of the British establishment. He could not be more different to a Tory. His public school education and banking background are irrelevant.

“But when we saw the grave injustice he had suffered – denied a posh bank account by Coutts and his good name besmirched by the NatWest – we knew we had no choice but to take his side. It’s like Batman and Catwoman vs Bane, except we’re all twats.

“We, and the establishment newspapers who own us like pets, gave this man our full backing even though he is so unlike us as to be an alien. We tirelessly crusaded as though he were one of our own.

“And now, with the sacking of a bank CEO and collateral damage against the BBC, we can stand together knowing that we have done the right thing. Almost as though we weren’t so different after all.”