BOTH are filled with backstabbers and sociopaths, but are your office politics worse than what goes on in Whitehall? Find out:
How are disputes resolved?
A) With a shirty email from HR that’s simmering with the thinly-veiled threat of being fired and has a bone-chilling sign off of ‘regards’.
B) Via petty grudge matches waged in public that can be traced back to who got to wear a more colourful waistcoat at Eton.
Who tends to get promoted?
A) Soulless brown-nosers who don’t seem to have a life outside of their job. They will eventually earn £90k a year and retire at 50, while you slog on until at least 75.
B) Charismatic morons whose frightening ineptitude will doom us all. Only the most venal and Machiavellian can stick it for long enough to rise to the top.
Who controls the purse strings?
A) The boss guards the petty cash tin like Smaug but they have been known to splash out on a single ice lolly for each member of the team to enjoy during the summer. And that’s in lieu of a pay rise.
B) Some useless bastard who has already f**ked over the NHS. But it doesn’t really matter as there’s no money anyway, aside from all the spare millions they suddenly find when they want to do things like house refugees on miserable, unsafe barges.
What happens if you bend the rules?
A) If my lunch break overruns because I simply couldn’t be arsed to return, I bring some cakes back with me and am instantly forgiven.
B) Nothing at all. Probably end up with a peerage and a lifetime income from the House of Lords. A bit of corruption is expected, to be honest.
Is your work environment riddled with yes-men?
A) Yes.
B) Yes.
ANSWERS:
Mostly As: Your struggles and infractions are peanuts compared to what the government gets up to, however your job has no meaning and you’ll be completely forgotten by history.
Mostly Bs: Your abuse of power has wrecked the country for the foreseeable future. But at least you don’t have to go on tedious team building exercises with people you hate.
