THE prime minister is in Berlin to ‘turn the corner’ on Brexit, but is his implication that Brexit is cuboid accurate or a vicious insult to patriots? 

Bill McKay, landscape gardener: “The Brexit I voted for wasn’t angular in any way. It was more of an infinitely malleable superheated plasma. Starmer should resign.”

James Bates, rabbi: “‘Turned a corner’ is negative. It suggests that Brexit wasn’t completely brilliant and didn’t give everyone everything they asked for, which is nonsense. I mean look around.”

Mary Fisher, lecturer: “Scientists say the universe is the shape of a hyperdimensional doughnut, called a 3-torus. I don’t think Brexit should be afforded any less respect.”

Joseph Turner, magistrate: “I’ve always imagined Brexit as some variety of spiky bastard that fatally wounds everyone it comes into contact with.”

Hannah Tomlinson, Depop reseller: “Sorry, I was still at school at the time. What’s Brexit?”