Labour have been criticised for saying landlords cannot be viewed to be working as human beings. What do you think?
Lucy Parry, student: “If landlords worked they’d be able to fix the f**king great hole in your bathroom roof in less than four months. QED.”
Margaret Gerving, retired: “I actually am a landlord, and we’re just normal folk. Yes, our skeletons are tungsten, our blood acid and our undead flesh only animated by dark rituals, but we watch Ludwig just like anyone else.”
Tom Booker, undertaker: “Landlords are people, it’s tenants who aren’t. They’re pets.”
Thomas Logan, glazier: “Being a landlord isn’t easy. When they’re not collecting rent they have to rub their hands together, backs hunched, cackling in a sinister way, firelight projecting their shadow large upon the wall.”
Jo Kramer, whittler: “I can’t wait until all landlords are replaced by faceless corporations only contactable via 45-minute automated phone menus. That seems the ideal situation to me.”
