MALE? Horny? Convinced that every encounter with the opposite sex is absolutely bubbling with suppressed sexual energy? Especially these ones?
Bumping into a former colleague
You left that job because the lust between you was so thick in the air nobody could work, and also you failed your probation. Now here she is seductively poised at a bus stop a mere half-mile from your office like it’s a coincidence? No wonder she turned down coffee. It wouldn’t stop there.
Buying jeans
Maybe it was the way you poured yourself into raw denim, W36 L30, that made the attraction between you and the shop girl so obvious. Maybe it it was just pure animal heat. But no way were her compliments because she works on commission. She wanted you.
Eating lunch
You were chowing down manfully on your burger. She was seductively eating chicken wings nearby. Your eyes met. In that brief moment an erotic fantasy bloomed, basically Brief Encounter with less pissing about and more banging her over a table. She left. Still, you both knew.
Brief call from best friend’s wife
She didn’t have to call to say you’d left your jacket at their place last weekend. It could have been a text. She only picked up the phone because of that undeniable connection, one that neither of you can admit to because it would break his heart. So she disguises it with fake contempt.
Getting told to ‘f**k off’
You apologised when the jolting of the train slammed you into that girl, and what did she say? ‘F**k off’. She could have said anything, but she used a word associated with the act of love. Deliberately. There wasn’t a person in the carriage unaware of the electricity crackling between you.
Walking ahead of you wearing headphones and never once glancing back
And it didn’t end there. No doubt alerted to your towering sexual charisma by the train incident, the hot girl walking ten paces ahead with headphones didn’t even have to look around. The very air was sizzling. What a day, honestly. Is the whole world horny or is it just you?
