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Short woman with big umbrella turning pavements into human bowling alley

A SMALL woman with a massive umbrella is loving scattering people into gutters as she strides down pavements, she has confirmed. 

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'No points at Eurovision': Boris Johnson's incredibly harsh sanctions on Russia

WHILE Germany is piddling around cutting off their own gas supply to spite the Russians, I am leading the way by imposing these truly pitiless sanctions:

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