TWO hot, incredibly annoying posh girls have unveiled the latest bullshit fad diet.
Daisy and Sparks de Crouton, who are sisters but also seem to fancy each other, made up some nonsense in about 20 minutes then immediately got a publishing deal for their book Yum-Fresh Diet.
Sparks said: “It’s a lovely yummy book of all the things we like to eat while sitting in massive windows with our jumpers pulled down to our knees.
“We used to be a right pair of heifers before discovering the Yum-Munch lifestyle, which involves just eating lemons six days a week, then having one day when you eat shitloads of cake.
“You can get any extra nutrients by sucking the paint off a toy car. It’s science.”
Daisy said: “Sometimes you wake up and amble semi-naked into your massive farmhouse kitchen and can’t work out what to eat because the cupboards are so stuffed with delicious Waitrose goodies and even posher things bought from ‘food halls’.
“The answer is lemons, processed in some incredibly expensive piece of hardware made by our friend Detmar’s company HealthZap.
“There are lots of pictures of us in the book being snuggly and cosy. We feel really blessed.”
