EVERY London night bus will undertake a ceremonial ‘puke parade’ before being replaced by the 24-hour tube.
Veteran passengers will be encouraged to pay their last respects at the themed event by climbing aboard the top deck and engaging in three minutes of silent kebab eating before the vomiting it solmenly everywhere.
Bus driver Roy Hobbs of the N9 route said “I’m glad the mayor wants us to celebrate the lives of these noble beasts in a meaningful and respectful way.
“As a passenger I’ve done so many secret bus sicks, mainly on the floor but also down the side at the back.”
Regular traveller Carolyn Ryan said: “It’s the end of an era. There’s nothing I love more than working my way through a six-pack between Oxford Street and Camden town, and then regurgitating it all over the gangway.
“However, I won’t be drinking on the new 24 hour tube, because you’re not allowed.”
Passenger Joseph Turner will be the guest of honour, after his total TFL vomit volume exceeded the three hundred litre mark at the start of the year.
He said: “I’m actually teetotal, but I get terrible motion sickness.”
