SOME of the biggest names in Britain will gather in central London today for the unveiling of the new national mood.
Prime minister Gordon Brown will be joined by host of celebrities including Steve Coogan, Elaine Page, Sir Bobby Charlton and the stars of All Creatures Great and Small.
The mood unveiling comes as a poll in the Daily Telegraph found that 68% of Britons want everything to be much more like Victoria Wood.
Experts are predicting the much anticipated new mood will have no truck with high salaries, nail varnish and swear words, particularly 'fucknut' and 'c**t-features'.
The prime minister is also expected to outline plans for a wide-ranging government inquiry into what is and is not funny.
Tom Logan, national mood detector at the Institute for Studies, said: "The inclusion of the All Creatures cast suggests an early Fifties, austerity kind of mood.
"We're looking at decency, v-neck sweaters, decency, home made broth, decency and everything being unbelievably tedious.
"There might be some scope for a bit of cheekiness on BBC1 on Saturday nights. Perhaps Victoria Wood could give a weekly rendition of that song she does about fucking."
He added: "It will be interesting to see if it works, particularly as most British workers spend their day forwarding emails and videos that make the Andrew Sachs wank fantasy look like Songs of Praise."
