THE UK is delighted that Birmingham is bankrupt because it means they get to clear the place out and start again.
After decades of shamefacedly saying ‘And this, I suppose, is our second city,’ Britain is taking no action whatsoever to stop Birmingham’s bankruptcy and will let bailiffs take it all away.
Steve Malley, a resident of neighbouring Shropshire, said: “This is brilliant news. Well not for Birmingham obviously, but for everyone else.
“Take the lot. The Bullring, Spaghetti Junction, the Jewellery Quarter, all those f**king miles of canals, the concrete high-rises, the accent, Ozzy Osborne, the whole lot. Sell it off for parts and start again.
“It’s a great location but that’s the only thing that’s good about it. Are there any other cities in the UK where a dedicated toll motorway was built solely to avoid it? That’s doing great business? Exactly.
“Birmingham’s been an embarrassment to this country for far too long. We’ve learned to cough politely and direct people to Manchester when it’s mentioned. Now we get to erase that historic mistake and start again.”
He added: “Though we’ll have to be careful. The last time we did a new city from scratch it turned out as Milton Keynes.”
