THE legal driving age is to be restricted to the 20 years of your life when you are least likely to drive like an idiot bastard.
Ministers are considering plans to raise the legal driving age to 40, before ripping the licence out of your hands on your 60th birthday.
A spokesman for the department of transport said: “By the age of 40 you should have realised that a car is simply a tool for going places. Unless of course you’re a total arsehole.
“You can then have 20 good years driving at the speed limit, indicating at roundabouts and dipping your fucking headlights when you’re supposed to.
“And after that you can get the bus instead of driving everywhere at 15 miles per hour because you’re looking for that garden centre where they do a lovely cup of tea.”