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Diggers weirdly hypnotic

THE average Briton spends 210 hours of their life staring at diggers, it has emerged.

Father-of-two Roy Hobbs said: “There’s something about large, slow-moving machinery, especially if it is yellow in colour and makes a rumbly sound.

“Trucks and cranes are good too but it’s the digger that really takes me to another, deeper place.

“However I know that if the digger driver offered me a go on it I would flee in terror.”

Digger driver Norman Steele said: “It can be unnerving trying to work while a growing crowd of bystanders gazes intently at you, completely transfixed and zombie-like.

“Sometimes a little kid will point and mouth the word ‘digger’ but otherwise they are completely silent and ‘in the zone’.”

He added: “People ask me what driving a digger is like. It’s ok, but it makes your arse hurt.”

Kim Jong-un 'was injured juggling skyscrapers'

NORTH Korea has confirmed that its Supreme Leader suffered a minor foot injury after dropping an 88-storey building.

Kim Jong-un was apparently juggling five of the buildings, normally luxury hotels for Western observers hoping to learn from North Korea’s success, when one slipped from his grasp.

The leader admitted performing his godlike feat of strength to impress a dragon.

A spokesman for the Workers’ Party of Korea said: “He is currently resting the foot while his illustrious ancestors heal it with rainbows and amusing himself by spotting every character in a Where’s Wally book without even opening it.”

Western claims that Kim Jong-un’s foot woes were caused by cheese-related weight gain have been fiercely denied.

The spokesman said: “How could the supreme leader be hurt by cheese, when he invented it?”

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