PEOPLE will soon charge their phones using unhappiness, say scientists.
Energy cells that absorb brainwaves from disappointment could provide a source of limitless bio-energy.
Inventor Tom Booker said: Instead of leaving their phone to charge overnight people will place them next to the bed while they lie awake contemplating their career and relationship status at three in the morning.
My only concern is that tube delays followed by an annual review on a wet Monday could cause devices to explode.
Manufacturers are working to ensure that angst-powered devices are as depressingly infuriating as possible to operate, with Microsoft promising that Windows 9 users must solve a cryptic puzzle every time they want to open a new document.