A NERD is blaming his lack of dating success on his passionate interest in franchises adored by millions of people.
Singleton Martin Bishop is under the impression he cannot get a girlfriend due to being an ardent fan of sci–fi and fantasy franchises which are now specifically designed to appeal to everyone, and not because he has an awful personality.
He said: “Chicks are repelled by fun blockbuster adaptations of comic books. The prospect of watching Chris Hemsworth run around in a cape for two hours seals their fannies shut.
“As for gripping, well-crafted series like House of the Dragon or Severance, forget about it. They get weirdly pissed off when we watch them together and I explain the plot as if they couldn’t understand it themselves.
“And just the other week this phoney slut was pretending to admire my lightsaber collection just to get into my pants. But I saw right through her and kicked her out before we could get to first base. Why can’t women ever like me for who I am?
“I reckon I’m condemned to being alone forever. And all because I have a niche interest in intellectual properties which have dominated the zeitgeist for the best part of two decades. Sigh.”
Fellow nerd Ellie Shaw said: “I’m not attracted to Martin because he’s too superficial. I prefer real bad boys who binge watch Quatermass and the Pit and have a copy of Space Hulk under their bed.”
