A MAN has realised that his entire relationship is merely fodder for his girlfriend’s Instagram account.
Tom Logan initially believed Sophie Rodriguez was organising boat trips, picnics and candlelit dinners because she had a romantic nature, until he overheard her telling a friend that their relationship ‘only worked with the Gingham filter on it’.
Logan said: “My suspicions should have been aroused when we met and she didn’t say ‘You’re hot’ or ‘I like you’ but ‘You’d be good for my aesthetic’.
“Since then, it’s been a whirlwind romance, each stage of our affair carefully curated and packaged for her followers. I got in trouble on her birthday because apparently a thoughtful gift based on a private joke between us wouldn’t be understood by her followers and she couldn’t use the ‘true love’ hashtag.
“After we argued about it she was posting all these videos of herself crying, with hashtags #singlelife #breakupsaretough and #tomloganisadickhead.
“There was an army of women commenting that she was better off without me and that we were doomed ever since I had looked bored during the authentic Andalusian couples’ cookery class followed by glow-in-the-dark mini golf.”
Rodriguez said: “Tom is getting dumped, but not until I’ve used him as a prop for my late summer bikini beach golden hour photoshoot, obviously. Being single in autumn has much better optics.”
