THERE’S no one, single way to live your life, but there are plenty of stupid quotes you shouldn’t listen to. Sadly, idiots swear by all of these.
‘Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars’
A well-meaning but tedious motivational quote about how aiming high can result in success, even if you fail. Sadly it’s only used by entrepreneurs and self-described disruptors to spur themselves on to create bullshit products nobody needs. Who wants to land among the vacuum of space between stars anyway? You’ll just be waiting to die as your spaceship runs out of air.
‘Be yourself, everyone else is already taken’
A quote only listened to by colossal aresholes trying to justify their awful personalities. There is nothing intrinsically wonderful about ‘being yourself’. Your core personality needs to be hammered into shape by grim life experiences until you are humbled into copying acceptable human behaviour. But nobody wants to see that on a motivational poster of a dolphin leaping over a sunset.
‘Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… It’s about learning to dance in the rain’
This was once an admirable quote about embracing and rising above life’s difficulties. Sadly it’s now been hijacked by Facebook mums to describe the ordeal of being stuck in traffic or realising that you’ve left your headphones at home. Even on a metaphorical level it’s nonsense. If you saw someone dancing in the rain, you’d think they’re a dickhead.
‘You must be the change you wish to see in the world’
Must you? Must you really? Most people don’t want to be a change, anyway. They want to win the lottery, have a big telly, and never see their in-laws again. And the select few that do want change are often universally-reviled cretins like Elon Musk. You’re better off scraping along in relative obscurity and never making any difference. That’s a normal, healthy existence.
‘Stay hungry. Stay foolish’
Steve Jobs was a pioneer in the field of bollocks quotes, but this stands out as his magnum opus. For lots of people, staying hungry and foolish isn’t a choice, it’s a by-product of their crap job and inherent stupidity and should not be encouraged. Besides, the format of this quote can make anything sound inspirational. Even ‘Stay drunk. Stay horny’ sounds deep.
‘He who dies with the most toys wins’
A quote beloved by rich twats as it endorses their lavish lifestyles. They could have made a massive difference by donating a fraction of their billions to charity, but instead they spunked it all on a fleet of Bugattis and a superyacht. Far from winning, they will be forever remembered as a selfish wanker who happened to invest in Bitcoin at the right time.
