THE birds are chirping, the buds are appearing on the trees, so it must be time to throw away every single one of the possessions holding you own.
Open the windows! Clean the bathroom in the spring sunlight! Hire a skip and keep loading it until you’ve got rid of literally all your stuff!
It’s a new season, it’s the beginning of a new year, and you can always get new things. They’re better than old things anyway. Old things are rubbish and dusty. Urgh.
Imagine how free you’d feel, how special, if instead of a house crammed with boring old crap like books and furniture, you had one of those houses with sweeping expanses of floorspace like in adverts. You can! Just chuck the lot!
Not used it in six months? Well, you’re not going to need it again then. Why are you hanging onto it, hoarder? It’s March!
Yes, you could sell everything, but what would you get, a few thousand pounds? Hardly worth the trouble, and no charity shop’s going to want a telly two years old. Get rid. You’ll be glad you did.
Throw it all out! Bin the lot! Including the clothes you’re wearing! It’s spring! It’s spring! It’s spring!
