WOMEN across the country are remembering that they have legs – and f**king loathe them – due to the return of sunny weather.
The sun has prompted many ladies to don shorts and shorter dresses and skirts, bringing an unwelcome reminder of the two limbs that keep them ambulatory.
Until deciding to put on a lightweight summer dress this morning, Carolyn Ryan, 27, was blissfully unaware of the existence of her own legs.
She said: “I’d completely forgotten about the bastards. But it’s sunny so I’m wearing a perfectly nice, slightly shorter dress. Imagine my horror when I looked down, saw this pair of awful things I’m forced to move around on and it all came flooding back.
“They’re enormous, they’re pale, and they’re covered in minor imperfections and little patches of hair I missed with the razor. My friends tell me I’m being silly – but they don’t know what it’s like being attached to these monstrous tentacles.”
The warmer temperatures have also forced Eleanor Shaw, 35, to remember her legs – and the seething hatred she feels for them.
She said: “Summer is a lose-lose situation. You spend half your time having your legs ogled by dickhead blokes and the other half putting yourself down because of them.
“Life is just so much easier without legs. I can’t wait for autumn when I can hide them away in tights and jeans and completely forget they’re there again.”
