WOMEN have confirmed that having a complete stranger shove their fingernails into various different boxes and layer paste on them is the highest form of relaxation.
Frequent nail salon visitor Lucy Parry said there was nothing like having hard ovals close to her sensitive fingertips sawed and plastered to make her feel calm and content.
Lucy said: “At the end of a long week, I like to treat myself by visiting a building that smells as chemical as a supervillain’s lab to pay for a woman to manhandle my appendages.
“A second woman, who I almost definitely won’t exchange any words with, will then violently sand, glue, or otherwise tamper with my perfectly fine natural nails before weighing them down with an absolute f**k-ton of gel.”
“It’s hard to choose a highlight. The little dryer that makes your skin feel like it’s burning? The terrifying mini sander that literally churns up the surface of your nail like a road grinder? It really is non-stop pampering making me feel so special.
“And when I walk out with my little reward to myself? I have impractical claws that mean I can’t even do up buttons. Absolutely perfect.”
She added: “I go every week now. Then to follow it up I treat myself to an addictive carcinogenic beverage that may cause me to shit myself. Isn’t life sweet?”
