THE terrible scourge of gentrification has hit an area, making it a much more pleasant place to live.
The Miles Platting area of Manchester is seeing increasing new development that has left locals worried for the shit character of the place they live.
Resident Steve Malley said: “When the boarded-up betting shop is replaced with a lovely little place selling horchata at first you’re pleased. Then you realise it’s come for you.
“That was just the first. The old derelict grocer now sells organic veg, the pub that shut down in 2005 is back open selling craft ale, there’s people walking with a spring in their step and cyclists waving hello. This is gentrification, all right.
“Time was you were afraid to walk down these streets at night. Now I see neighbours I’ve known 30 years picking up their dog’s shit as if that’s normal, because they don’t want to ‘ruin the vibe’.
“There’s hanging baskets outside the pub and they’re threatening a monthly farmers’ market. What happened to the shithole I knew and planned to raise my kids in?”
City planner Julian Cook said: “While gentrification may result in higher rents, displaced communities and reduced community spirit, it does also lead to nicer cafes, local shops and increased access to prosciutto.
“Everything will be great until the bastard letting agents show up.”