A WINSOME woman cycling through a town, her floral dress dancing behind her in the wind, is blissfully unaware of the vehicular chaos following in her wake.
Francesca Johnson, aged 28, has not cycled since in Bordeaux but was inspired by the joy of a warm summer morning to ride to Waitrose, enchanting dozens and causing a BMW to crash into a bin.
She said: “As soon as I got behind that wicker basket it felt just like my first term at Cambridge. My caramel-auburn hair streaming behind me wonderfully in the sunlight, earbuds blotting out the noise of the world.
“Busy thinking about which Ottolenghi organic quinoa recipe to make Felix for his supper – it’s Dominika’s night off, you see – I weaved and snaked through traffic and felt so free.
“Yes, I awarded dazzling smiles to a bus driver whose lane I was in going the wrong way, waved at gesticulating pedestrians, popped onto the pavement and back when necessary and took shortcuts down one-way streets. I’m on a bike! The dress is clingy! I’m allowed.”
PC Martin Bishop said: “Ms Johnson directly caused four collisions, is indirectly responsible for six more, and paralysed the road network for five hours.
“I located her in the aisle containing Victoria sponges and ginger beer with the intent of arrest but let her off with a caution. She tilted her head and bit her lower lip, you see.”
