NORTHERN Ireland’s marching season is to be transformed into a series of pleasant strolls.
New rules to reduce tension will impose a pedestrian speed limit of ‘leisurely saunter’ with half-hourly pauses to point at animals and eat crisps.
Loyalist music will be replaced by a portable stereo playing selections from Classic FM’s Clare Jones: The Girl with the Golden Harp CD.
Northern Ireland Minister Theresa Villiers said: “If everyone relaxed a bit they’d notice all sorts of urban wildlife like starlings, foxes and remarkably colourful centipedes.
“Nobody ever had a nice time while having to co-ordinate limb movements with the rest of the group.”
